Tuesday, October 27, 2009

lost & found-

sometimes i lose my mind
sometimes i lose my soul
sometimes i feel left behind
but it's not for naught you know

so i hide away with teacups
i hide away with pain
i hide away with sorrow
until i'm found again

then tea and sympathy rain on me
and sponges filled with jam
and tiny cucumber sandwiches
because that is who i am

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

because-

Reality seeps in
gets under my skin
light of my life
it's not you, its me

start again if you can
reach out for my hand
light of my life
we'll run free

It's not what it should be
it's not what it was
it can't be this way
forever because

we promised our lives
we were young hopeful brides
we have so much to offer
right now and because

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

swift-

Bend and break
twist and sigh
flash of quick lightening
corner of the eye

three-hundred-and-sixty
from white to black
doubletake-talking
whip-lash whip-cracked

yes sir, no sir
and three bags full
decision made quickly
red rag to a bull

weigh it up, weigh it in
and never enough
fork in the road again
ain't life tough


Monday, October 19, 2009

fresh-

-for baby Willow Asha Bowman. Born 19.10.09. Welcome.

New life
springs in the night
new life
struggles in the dawn

new life
cries in the morning
what glory is this
we have born

Welcome
to the shadows
welcome
to the light

welcome
to the family
a light that shines
so bright

Friday, October 16, 2009

Macarons (or 'a beautiful waste')

-for Sarah... you know what I mean

And we flung our macarons in the ocean
a beautiful rainbow on the tide
a waste of bright joy in the swell
a beautiful and beguiling motion

And we flung our faces to the sun
twisting bodies to meet the light
tangling of limbs in the sunbeams
thinking such freedom would never come

And we flung our bodies to the ocean
a beautiful mess in the light
a reckless joy in the icy-cold swell
a beautiful and beguiling motion

Awe-

Shakes-shudders
with the thrill of it.
Tremble-titters
with the rush.

Modern groupie excited
Completely delighted-
Game over
and now there's the hush.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

the madness-

There's a tick-tock in my brain
and it's competing with the rain
to see if it can slowly drive me mad

There's a rushing in my ears
and a swishing of my fears
pulses racing you're the best I've ever had

There's a moment of regret
and a wishing to forget
and a memory that's bound to drive you wild

Then there's embracing what is right
whisper-perfect in the night
why fight it when it's followed you for miles

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

air-

breath out - breath out
there's no more worry
breath out - breath out
There's not more to fear

Breath out and rest
no need to be sorry
breath out - breath out
you'll find peace here

Breath full and in
there's light and love
breath up and in
there's looking beyond

breath in and full
we are rising above
breath in and full
all your longing is gone.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

forget-me-not-

-written in 1999 and found in the box in the garage

Remembrance is a funny thing,
it slips inside your mind
and tingles at your memory
until it manages to find
those little blue forget-me-nots,
that clutter up the past,
and trickle down our well-worn cheeks
when we cry at last.

These tears are not for sadness.
These tears are not for pain.
These tears are for remembrance,
running through your veins.
Opening up the floodgates
of times long since forgot.
The stories and the flowers
that plead 'forget me not...'

rhythm-

-written in 2000 when I was living in the UK, found in the box in the garage

Beat. beat. beat.
rain against the glass
beat. beat. beat.
the breaking of my heart

the clanging of a hammer
the thunder of a drum
beat beat beat
keeping time until you come

change-

-written when I was 11yrs old- and found in that box in the garage

As the days of the year
give way to one another,
today to tomorrow
as sister to brother,

Summer to Autumn
and Winter to Spring,
so the birds of the nest
now take to the wing.

The year she grows old
and sheds light on the new.
We grow and e change,
as the seasons do.

A flower will open,
hold it's glory then die.
Enjoying life
as it passes by.

Accept change as it comes,
let go of the past.
Savour life's little moments,
they go so fast.

Change comes in new
and goes out old.
So the once timid child
may grow to be bold

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

wet-

a gentle blanket falls
damp-soft
and frothy light
mists of rain

glitter globes suspend
trickle-light
and holding tight
drops of dew

glossy rivers run
shiny-sleek
gutters rush and seek
spring-time haze

Monday, October 5, 2009

pretend-

These are not my words
this is not my face
these are not my feet
running this race

these are not my tears
this is not my smile
these are not my hands
but I'll use them for a while

I'll hide away in certainty
that no one else can see
that this person I am living
isn't really me

The mask-

-written when I was 14 (in 1995). This poem won an award, and I thought it would make me a famous poet... I have a very soft spot in my heart for this poem.

I cry the tears you've never shed,
for love you've never known.
I see you smiling from the wall,
though your smile is made of stone.

Oh! Happy are you, mask of joy!
Your smile in slate is set.
Your soul feels not the pangs of pain
that humans feel, and yet...

Your smile of clay is not so deep,
for it touches not your eyes.
Those sad and sightless socket holes
full of happy lies.

Do you wonder my mask of joy,
what makes a happy man?
It's the sorrows and the pleasures,
there is nothing else that can.

In your feigning of happiness
you are safe from all that pains,
you will not feel the cuts and blows...
much less the many gains.

For life without soul, as you live mask,
is not a life at all.
The higher you climb on the ladder of life
the further you will fall.

A fire without a flame,
is just a fire place.
And life without a soul,
is a mask, without a face.

girls-

-written in 2001 and stored in the old box in the garage, heavily influenced by Dorothy Parker's poetry... but we all need an influence.

Some girls would take a woeful song
and make it all their own,
Some girls would giggle recklessly
at things they have been shown.

Some ladies smile the virtuous smile
as they draw their curtains at night.
But oh! I am a wicked one...
for I leave on the light!

And whose to tell me I'm right or wrong
if I should run away?
And whose the one to comfort me
should I choose to stay?

But as there is no answer-
no strong and constant arm.
I shall do that which I please
and keep myself from harm!

fade-

-written in 2001 & stored in the old box in garage

As the clock sticks slowly on
I run out of things to say
and watching water in the sun
my mind begins to play

roving over the dreamscapes
of histories boldest knights
watching them fade into nothing
as they ride into the light

of day and dawn and memory
washing across the space
of sad and lonely nothingness
written all over my face

So I sink back into my dreamworlds
where life is full of fire
and let my mind go flying
to stories that do not tire

or weary, or dull
or age with time
no matter how oft
they are writ in rhyme

resolve-

-written in 2001 and stored in the old box in the garage

Some games go on forever
some dreams go on for years
sighing across the moments
playing on all fears

My soul drifted off in the sunset
my tears melt away with the snow
my heart flew away with the breeze
my sparked packed it's bags to go

For despite all the games and the dreaming
There's just so much that one heart can take
and I'm stealing myself against your soft words
for fear that my heart might break

So I kissed you goodbye forever
I kissed you goodbye for years
I kissed you goodbye with the strongest resolve
and you wrote a song with my tears

I flung my soul to the sunset
I left my ice tears in the sun
I opened my heart to make a new start
But the wind with my soul took the run

and it lifted me up to the morning
and it bore my new heart away
to show me how to be grateful
for the promise of an unwritten new day

Friday, October 2, 2009

lost in a moment-

Swept up in a notion
in an ocean
of surprise

Swept up by a current
of enjoyment
passing right before my eyes

Rounded up with new momentum
swimming with a tide
dragged in by a current
taken in my stride

pushed along with energy
caught up in the synergy
of a moment

Caught alone unguarded
easy to be parted
from my reason



Thursday, October 1, 2009

phantom-

you haunt me at the edges of my vision
anywhere I wander
you go too

Your face is never turned towards me
but I feel you
know you go

you're the face that's half in shadow
you're the head that didn't turn
you're the laugh that fades around me
and still I feel the burn

you should have let me walk away
but I wander
and you follow

you should have faded clean away
but you drag
me down with sorrow

the words-

'you are the most wonderful woman'
your words to me
when we were far apart.

Reunited
Holding each other close again
All the words stopped.

'you are the most wonderful woman'
became
what's for dinner & what's on TV

Reunited
lying close agin
there was no longer room for you & me.

And then you e-mail me from work
a simple request
finished with 'thank you beautiful'

reunited
feeling close again
The words are different.